The reality is, there’s no such thing as “perfect.” Searching for “perfection” is a fool’s quest. Belief in “perfection” is dysfunctional behavior gained through faulty learning and self-deceit.
Yet, some proudly say, “I’m a perfectionist!”
Such delusional exclamations are self-defeating and, in my experience, forecast someone with high ego need and low self-esteem. It is clearly a claim from someone who can never be satisfied. Such folks are constantly disappointed with themselves, their children, their spouses, their families, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. Such talk results in second-guessing the motives and choices of others – more often than not, in a negative way.
There are approximately 8,200,000,000 people on this planet as of mid-year 2026 – and none of them likely do anything the way you and I might prefer. Yet, you know what? For the most part, they get along in life just fine.
Practice doesn’t make “perfect.”
Practice makes effective habits.
What are a few “effective habits?”
- Learn to rely upon facts. Spouting emotions and opinions not grounded in third-party verifiable facts erodes the invaluable trust of others. As the adage goes, you can create your own opinions, but you can’t create your own facts.
- Avoid speculation and attempts to engage in mind-reading or assuming the intentions of others.
- Stop second-guessing yourself, your worth, and your decisions.
- Avoid “all or nothing” behavior. We don’t have to “win” at all times. We certainly don’t “win” when we make other people lose.
- Accept that there is no “100%” in life – someone can always do it better, more creatively, cheaper, faster, or more efficiently than you and I.
- Learn all you can about self-awareness. Become a student of yourself.
- Challenge your inherited beliefs, myths, and assumptions.
- Empower others to challenge your beliefs, myths, and assumptions.
- Avoid echo chambers – where family and friends consistently amplify opinions to the point that they become rumors and gossip.
- Avoid rumor mills. A rumor dies in the ear of an honest person.
- Celebrate your effective habits – whether they be listening skills, writing skills, coaching others, or simply being comfortable with silence.
- Avoid getting on the bandwagon of someone else’s opinions simply because they might not like you if you disagree with them.
- Do something good for someone else every day – and do so anonymously.
- Travel – for goodness sake – get out beyond the city limits or the county line! There’s a gigantic world out there!
Replacing Old, Ineffective Habits With New, Effective Habits.
I tell my students and clients that there are four stages to a habit. Let’s say I’m drumming my fingers on the table top in front of me …
- The first stage of that habit is – I’m drumming my fingers and am not conscious that I’m drumming my fingers. While it may be annoying to those around me, I’m not aware of the behavior.
- The second stage of a habit is – I’m drumming my fingers, someone calls it to my attention, and I become conscious that I’m drumming my fingers.
- The third stage of a habit is – Now that I’m aware of it, I stop drumming my fingers; I’m using a lot of energy to not do so.
- And, the fourth stage of a habit is – I’m not drumming my fingers, I’ve replaced the behavior with something different, and I don’t even realize that I’m not drumming my fingers.
And so it goes with all habits in life. I have learned that it is important to surround myself with people whom I trust, whom I have empowered to point out my ineffective habits, and who will exercise patience as I move through the four stages outlined above.
Perfect? There’s no such thing.
Learn to be satisfied with “accurate” and “effective.”
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Author’s Note: The content provided in this article is designed exclusively for educational and informational purposes, reflecting opinions shaped by decades of leadership training and organizational consulting experience. It should never be interpreted as formal professional advice. By reading or engaging with this material, you acknowledge that no professional-client relationship is established and that these insights do not substitute for tailored guidance from a qualified professional familiar with your specific circumstances. Consequently, readers are strongly advised to seek independent counsel from licensed legal, financial, medical, or other appropriate advisors before implementing any strategies or making decisions based on these perspectives. Ultimately, you assume full personal responsibility for any actions you choose to take or omit as a result of reading this material, releasing the author and publisher from any liability for outcomes arising from your reliance on the text.
